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YESHIVAT HAR ETZION
Kiddushin 28 - Daf 81b continued
For the last several weeks, we have been studying the laws of yichud, seclusion between a man and woman, which were introduced by the mishna on daf 80b. That mishna concludes by teaching that the laws of yichud do not apply to parents and children. As a demonstration of this, the mishna states that a man may become secluded with his mother or daughter and they may even sleep together in the same bed, as we are not concerned that this will lead to illicit sexual activity. The mishna rules that they may even sleep together "with closeness of flesh," meaning unclothed, as was the norm in those times; however, once the child grows up, parent and child must be clothed. Our gemara picks up on this point. We are up to the "two-dots," toward the bottom of 81b.
Our gemara picks up on the ambiguity in the mishna's statement that its initial allowance only holds true until the child "grows up." What exactly is the definition of growing up regarding this halakha? The gemara quotes two traditions as to Rav Ada's response (in the name of Rav Asi). The first version states that the age for a girl is nine and the age for a boy twelve, and the second says that the ages are twelve for a girl and thirteen for a boy. Either way, it is only if they have "breasts formed and hair sprouted," which is an expression borrowed from Yechezkel (16:7) and which refers to the process of a girl's physical maturation. Once a girl has reached puberty she begins to be physically attractive to men, and we do not allow her to sleep unclothed even with her father. Before the ages specified in the gemara, even apparent signs of physical maturity are not taken seriously and do not count as heralding the actual onset of physical maturity. On a technical note, the gemara here mentions the ages of "nine years and one day old," twelve years and one day old," etc. This is a common mode of expression of precise ages in the Gemara. The addition of the phrase "and one day" simply means that the nine years (for example) have been fully completed, such that the person has entered his tenth year. In other words, if a person is born on the first day of Nissan, he completes his years at the completion of the month of Adar; once the first of Nissan comes around again, he has already begun the first day of his next (in this case, tenth) year. There is a dispute as to the correct versions of the different ages presented in our gemara. The Rosh (Rabbenu Asher, 14th cent. Germany and Spain) argues that the correct reading should have the ages of three (for girls) and nine (for boys) according to the gemara's first suggestion and eleven and twelve according to the second. The Shulchan Arukh (EH 21:7) avoids the issue and simply writes that when boys or girls reach physical maturity, the allowance no longer applies. Some commentators (e.g., Chelkat Mechokek, ibid.) explain that the specific ages mentioned are immaterial, because once the child begins to show signs of physical maturity, they will have already reached the point mentioned by Rav Chisda at the end of our selection of gemara, when the daughter (or mother) is embarrassed for her father (or son) to see her unclothed. The Gemara continues We are six lines from the bottom of 81b.
As we have seen before, the Gemara often relates incidents that are relevant to the halakhic discussion at hand. This may be so that the protagonists themselves may present their halakhic positions as part of the story, or so that the Gemara can analyze the story afterward for its halakhic implications. Our case is one in which the story is mostly a dialogue in which the participants themselves express their halakhic opinions. Rav Acha bar Abba visited the home of his daughter and son-in-law, Rav Chisda. Rav Acha took his granddaughter and put her on his lap; according to other interpretations of the phrase אותבוה בכנפיה, she slept in his bed with him, in which case the incident is a direct parallel to the Gemara's previous discussion. Rav Chisda, however, took exception to what he perceived as an exaggerated expression of familial closeness, and objected on the grounds that his daughter was already betrothed. Let us mention a quick review of some of the details of betrothal. As we learned in the early part of our chapter, kiddushin, betrothal, is the first step of halakhic marriage; after kiddushin, the couple is legally classified as husband and wife, though they do not start living together until the completion of the second stage, nisu'in. Although the two components of marriage are done together nowadays, in earlier times it was common to perform kiddushin and at some later date to complete the nisu'in. A father has the legal right to accept kiddushin on behalf of his daughter when she is a minor. Apparently, Rav Chisda had accepted kiddushin on behalf of his young daughter, and he therefore objected to Rav Acha's behavior with the girl. Rav Acha chastised Rav Chisda for having taken this step: Rav taught that although a father may have the legal right to accept kiddushin for his young daughter, he should not exercise this right. Instead, the girl should be allowed to mature and then to have a say in selecting her marriage partner. Rav Chisda strikes back, accusing his father-in-law of violating Shemuel's directive that one not make use of women. This is a general instruction that a man not have a woman perform certain functions that may be considered slightly intimate and therefore could lead to inappropriate thoughts, such as washing his face, hands or feet for him or making his bed (see Shulchan Arukh and Rema, E.H., 21:5). These are actions that are not objectively forbidden by a specific prohibition, but that Shemuel advises that one stay away from and Rav Chisda argues that it should certainly extend to physical contact. Rav Acha responds that with regard to the extra-halakhic advice of Shemuel, there is great significance given to the intent of the person involved. In this case, Rav Acha had only positive intentions, namely to express his closeness to his granddaughter and to show his daughter how much he loved her daughter. It is interesting that this incident is the last in a series of stories on 81b regarding the precautions that various sages took in the area of yichud. Whereas in previous incidents we learned about sages taking extreme precautions above and beyond the letter of the law, this story tempers that message, with Rav Acha heralding Shemuel's defense of actions taken "in the name of heaven," within the letter of the law rather than beyond it. The next mishna We are up to the top of 82a.
While the previous mishna introduced the prohibition of yichud and some of its details, this mishna expands upon that theme by making recommendations that go beyond the formal limits of yichud. The mishna advises that a bachelor should not teach young students; the gemara will explain that this is due to concern that regular contact with the mothers of his students might lead to inappropriate thoughts or activities. The word ravak, used in the opening phrase of the mishna, refers to a man who has never been married. Rabbi Elazar adds that even if he has been married in the past, a man should not teach young children if he is not currently married. One who is currently married is considered to be least at risk of violating the prohibitions we mentioned above. The tanna kamma (first tanna) apparently felt that one who has been married before is not as consumed by his desire, and is at a low enough level of risk that he should not be discouraged from the teaching profession. The gemara will provide more detail about Rabbi Elazar's opinions. Rabbi Yehuda extends the advised precautions even further, warning that a man who has never been married should not shepherd animals, lest his extended contact with animals - with no other outlet for his natural sexual urges - lead him to desire animals. Furthermore, two unmarried men should not sleep under one garment, so as to avoid temptation for homosexual activity. The Sages dispute Rabbi Yehuda's extensions, arguing that we are not concerned about the possibility that the man will become tempted to engage in homosexuality or bestiality. Let us see the gemara on this mishna.
The gemara, as usual, questions the reason for the mishna's instruction that a bachelor should not teach young children. One possibility would be to suggest that we are concerned that the teacher might actually abuse his students, but the gemara rejects this based upon a beraita that adds to our mishna: the sages responded to Rabbi Yehuda's ruling (at the end of our mishna) by arguing that we are not concerned about homosexuality or bestiality. That being the case, it is impossible that the mishna's first statement, which is stated anonymously, should reflect the narrow opinion of Rabbi Yehuda alone. A different explanation is therefore required. The gemara explains that the concern is the consistent contact between the teacher and the students' parents. The gemara goes on to explain the opinions of Rabbi Elazar and Rabbi Yehuda:
The first section here seeks to clarify Rabbi Elazar's statement in our mishna. Rabbi Elazar rules that if one is not currently married, he should not teach young children. The gemara wonders if Rabbi Elazar would clear anyone who is married to teach, or if he requires that the man actually be living with his wife. The gemara concludes that the man must be living with his wife in order to be permitted to teach. Since his marriage relationship is ongoing in an active sense, the contact with his students' mothers will not lead him astray. Finally, the gemara cites the sages' response to Rabbi Yehuda, as explained in a beraita and quoted earlier in our gemara. This concludes our course for this year. For those who want to work on their ability to read and understand Gemara, or even to follow the flow of its discussions, it is highly advisable to review the material that we have covered during this course. It would be especially helpful to review the gemara with the help of our shiurim, and then to read and explain it again, by yourself, from a regular page of Talmud. Best wishes for a wonderful summer, Michael Siev |
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